Bottle of dishrag to go….

Today, I chased dishrag down the hall, lay on the bed – which is taller than him – and would make sounds when he raised his head up trying to find me; with both, he just laughed or ran yelling with a smile that brings me such happiness. Those moments erase all of the chaos and worry that normally fills my head.

If I could find something like that in a drink, or a pill…I would get lost in it. The only thing I know that equals it is when my Joy smiles at me; with her soul…a smile that is not just a look, but a feeling.

But now…neither is happening and I am thinking about dragging myself back into the cubicle that houses my person for too many hours, to do work that has no end.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..the sound the voice in my head is making! Also, the sound that dishrag makes as I chase him down the hall….but the voice in my head has no smile…it knows the chances of success; of achieving or completing all that I need to do tomorrow are as close to zero as you can get…..

The beauty of acceptance, of conceding to my opponent, is knowing my fate makes my day easier, less stressful.

I still have to play for a while…..but I don’t have to lose sleep or health over it….neither will help me to win.

 

~ by mrcsworld on January 3, 2016.